some random thoughts

I've been writing for only a few months. What I've realized is, alot of the issues we, as SD patients struggle with are common accross other patients of"abnormal" diseases or those that have experienced traumas.

The reoccuring theme is insecurity, lowered self-esteem, fear, and the stages of grief. Human beings, whether you are 15 or 50 goes through these feelings at one point or another in their life. In a way it is what makes people mature. As a result, those that manages deal with more personal issues become more mature. However, in the "average" person, they only become aware of life after going through the different phases from childhood innocence to the strive for success, wealth, and family. Only when these things are in place that they start looking inwards searching for some meaning, and this is why often we see people that are in their 50's or older gain a different perspective about life.

However, I often wonder, what happens to someone who sees the world from a similar perspective to that of a person in the later stages of their life. Having a similar mentality often means that you see past the superficial things of life, but at the same time, it takes away from your motivation and desire to "be successful".

I, myself, is often at a moral dilema, besides wanting a secure job/career to provide me with a comfortable lifestyle, I've lost much motivation to "strive for greatness". I turn my attention to more personal matters trying to help people or simply spend more time with the people I care about such as family and friends. Yet, I often look back at society and occasionaly get the feeling of inadequite since I chose to spend my time and energy on people rather than obtaining wealth.

It's a constant battle fighting societal values versus your own beliefs. A meaningful life should not and cannot be measure by wealth, yet integrity in this day and age seems overated.