Your Future: job stability and security

Growing up in a traditional white collar family, I was taught to look for security above all else.  Traditional Asians think being a doctor, engineer, government worker or banker/acountant are the idea and secure ways to live your life and making a living.  My parents simply hope I would get a job and settle for the rest of my life.

Except I beg to differ.

Settling only makes them happy but to me its torture.  I hate inefficiencies, I hate lack of creativity，　I hate stupidity and mundane work, and I can't bring myself to become one of those people who can't wait until the weekend because they hate their job and can't wait to retire or quit.

THERE'S NO REASON WHY YOU CAN'T DO WAHT YOU LOVE!

I always believe in the fact that if you are doing something you love, you will find a way to make money.  There's no reason why you have to settle even if you are visually impaired.    Being successful has nothing to do with physical disability but has everything to do with your mental attitude.  If you feel you can't, then you will never achieve what it is you want.    If anything, being visually impaired helps you cope with the hardships you face when chasing a dream. 

I've failed many times.  Been rejected from jobs, and even put down by people of position.  But all of that has made me a stronger person, a smarter thinker, and a committed lifelong learner.   

As parents or family members, please don't force your kid of loved ones to settle for anything less than their real dreams.  It's not going to be an easy road, but  what they need is not discouragement  and your fears. Believe it or not, your fears will transfer into their behaviours, your doubt and disbelief in their abilities will become the foundation of their self doubt.

I've spent 20 years trying to un-lesrn all the education taught to me from people who fear their own future.  If anything, it takes so much more energy  to erase those negative thoughts than to just simply follow you dreams.

If you are a parent, encourage your kids passion.  Help them achieve their dreams, and believe in them like you would want them to believe in themselves.  Installing your fears will hinder their true potential.  After all, do you really want to be the people who made them unhappy?  Who was the one that influenced them to give up on life and dreams?

Life is more than just about settling.  So security and safety will come if you're in something you love to do.  All you need to do is believe.

New Beginnings

Even though it has only been a year.  I find that as I get older, my view of the world changes at a much faster speed compared to a few years back.  Perhaps it is the realization that our lives are only byproduct of our hearts desires, when you follow your heart, no matter what challenge may arise, you will find a way.

Too often are we afraid of our own possibilities.  We live in a society where we are discouraged from pursuing dreams for fear of failure.  However, it is those failures that teach us how to be better and understand more about our own strengths and weakness.   Don't be fooled by status quo, because most people simply fear the alternative so would rather settle.

It's time for action, because living the moment is the only way I want to live my life.

Getting By in Life

Today I saw a person who lived her life with passion and hope. It's been a while since I've met one of these kind of people, the kind that lives their lives with their everything. It's been a really long time since I've seen this kind of person around but on the rare occasion I do meet one of them, I'm always reminded of what I've become and turned my back to.

Growing up with Stargardt's, I've perfected the art of getting by. To put enough effort to do above average but never giving my all and holding back in fear of failure. I've lived like this for so long it's become my coping mechanism and excuse. On rare occasions I see a person doing everything they can to live life the the fullest and it just remind me of what I've turned my back on.

I lost the fight in me, and opted to getting by. But at the same time, I'm upset about the person I've become. They say you can do anything if you put your mind to it? But I'm not sure if I can.

Stargardt's isn't something to be fixed!

Few months ago I saw the movie "Love and OtherDrugs". It's about a young woman and her struggle with relationship while facing Parkinson's. Although the nature of Parkinson's is much not related to blindness, but the idea of living and facing a disease is actually very similar.

Although we all hope for a cure someday, reality is there is none at this moment. It's a harsh reality to face for many patient's and often even harder to accept for family members. What I've seen and come to understand is that no matter how much you want your loved one to be better sometimes you just need to accept the disease as part of who they are and not force them to visit doctor after doctor knowing you will get the same answer.

Even when people know there's no cure, they still chase after doctor to doctor. It ends up being something you're trying to do not for the patient but for yourself. You want so desperately for your loved one to be better but ask yourself this question, IS IT SO BAD TO HAVE THIS DISEASE? Chasing after the same answer is tiresome and exhausting both physically and mentally. Yet many people with the disease will not refuse to see another doctor that their loved one has suggested because they don't want to kill their loved one's hope.

The best thing you can ever say to a Stargardt's patient or any terminal disease patient is to let them know you are there to support them and help make their life easier. Love them for who they are, even if it means they have a disease. Because when you chase after false hope, it tells them that they are not good enough because they have this disease.

No one wants to be sick, but when it is a part of you with no cure, it may be time to accept and love yourself even if it means you are sick. Having Stargardt's doesn't mean you can't live life, it just means that life becomes that much harder. But regardless of how hard it gets, find someone who loves you just as you are rather than try to "make you better". Because what they don't understand is you are good enough, you don't need to be better to be loved.

So stop trying to fix something that hasn't found a cure. Maybe one day there will be a cure, but until them accept that this is part of the patient and love them for who they are.

Talking to Others withvision problems

Lately, I've had the opportunity to speak with others who also have severe visual impairment. It's given me a chance to see myself in a different perspective.

I tend to be fairly hard on myself, always expecting more from myself then waht is really needed, especilly when it comes to my attitude towards my disability and how I adapt in everyday society. But recently I've had a chance to meet and speak with some others that are also dealing with low vision or vision loss, and all of a sudden, I'm starting to ease off on myself. I realize, I'm doing pretty good given my situation. I smile, I laugh, I live a fairly unrestricted life, I push myself to do more than what is expected, and I learn to deal and face my demons on a bad day.

How do I feel when I talk to others? Truth is, I don't think I will ever NOT be emotional when talking openly about my vision problems. I can't help but be a little teary when I hear others go through similar struggles. Its nice, to be able to talk openly and realize that although your friends and family may have trouble understanding what i is like to be visually impaired, the person you are talking to can relate and share a similar experience as your struggles. It's real comfort when I hear someone who really understand give words of encouragement. I mean not that support from friends and family isn't important, but for most people, they do not realize the amount of effort needed to deal with the smallest things in life.

I spoke with two visually impaired middle aged individuals and it made me realizeI shouldn't be so hard on myself. I see them and I still see emotional baggage. They still have trouble really face and accept their realities. A lot of time I just smile and say, well life doesn't stop because of you or anyone. If we have to live, then try to make the best of it.

The best advaice...

Forgiveness sharing the love, and a open heart. It is only when you lose something you learn to charish what you do have. Those of us that have Stargardt's, its not a curse. Its a gift of sight, it helps you to see the world for waht it is and not the blnket that covers it. For those that goes through difficult hardships and endure, they learn to love more, appreciate more, and can lead to a more spiritually fulfilling life.

For the parents of any Stargardt's patients out there, "its not your fault"... You can't possibily imagine the kind of hardships they have to endure both physically and mentally. So the best thing you cna do is give them words of encouragement . Let them knowthey can do anything they wnt to and that its always better to try and fail then never to have try at all. Even if you fail, it doesn't mean you're not good enough, it just means its not the right thing for you. Don't overprotect, it will hinder them from reaching their true potential because of fear. Love them just the way they are, let them know they don't need to apologize for their condition. Its not anyone's fault.